(When logging into the xlog website dashboard on a new Android phone, I plan to copy the content of the memo. I have to say, the dashboard interface on the phone is really messy. @diygod)
The names I have used, are like unfinished buildings. Some of them, as they were being built, were no longer needed. It's as if they don't fit in with this world and are discarded to the side. They haven't been carefully dismantled, maybe leaving a taste of regret.
Recently, I abandoned the name "cheapcrapcommunity" that I have used for more than ten years as a musician. Although I still use it in a very small aspect, it is no longer used for its original purpose. Since the days of QQ, I have enjoyed the challenge of changing my name. Some names represent what you want, while others represent how you see yourself at that time. These seem to be the two common mindsets. Even now, I still express something through changing my name, although the frequency has become very low and sometimes I change it more casually, especially when I find defining my state to be uninteresting. But it still feels like a function that shouldn't be wasted. Thinking about it, it's probably similar to dressing oneself up.
However, it seems that I am more cautious when it comes to musician names. This may indicate that I do take the act of creation seriously.
My current musician name is xxory/xxorx. This name contains two states, 0 and 1. It's easier to explain with a drawing.
I want to use this name to clearly express the direction I have been wanting to explore for a long time. The combination and separation of machine-like and human-like qualities.
So the basic means I currently use are code and vocals. Will I learn to play any musical instruments? After all, skill also carries a machine-like quality. Sometimes I feel that I am not really a musician or someone who loves music. I just really enjoy absorbing many things from music. When it comes to learning to play an instrument, I am rarely interested. When someone asked me where to buy a good guqin, I didn't know, but when I was browsing in the old paradise, I saw a guqin compilation by Cha Fuxi, which was packaged very nicely and came with a booklet. I think K doesn't even know how much music he has shared with me or how many delicious things he has made for me, so I bought it intending to give it to him when I go to London. At this moment, on the plane, I am thinking that before giving it to him, I definitely need to see what's inside, who Cha Fuxi is, and what kind of guqin he plays. So I opened the package and listened all the way through. The first CD surprised me with the concept that what can be considered a cliché instrument can still have such an interesting side. When I heard the Pu'an chant on the second CD, I truly felt its beauty.
This was my first visit to the old paradise, and the prices were a bit high, so I only bought what I felt I must buy. Picking up one thing after another, when I spread them out on the hotel bed, I realized they were all traditional Chinese arts. Except for the guqin, they were all operas. Thanks to Afei's Trashy Network. I bought the operas not because I enjoy listening to them, but for two reasons. One is that they were the background music for many moments in my childhood, so listening to them feels familiar. The other reason is that I don't understand them. Unlike jazz, which I don't understand and is not familiar, I approach it with the purpose of gaining new knowledge. Approaching drama, partly because I miss my hometown.
During this trip back to China, when I arrived at a hotel in Shenzhen, I came across a recording of traditional Chinese opera on TV, and I actually stopped to watch it. When I was a child, I used to think it was boring and quickly changed the channel. But one trouble that music has brought me is that I want to understand many things that I originally had no interest in. With jazz, I have no foundation for feeling, so I try to understand it through its structure, hoping to build a sense of appreciation. As for drama, I have vague feelings about it, but I still don't know what it really is. In the end, I'm just interested in the thought processes behind these people and their works, and finding the points of aesthetic stimulation is only a part of it, but secondary.
Whether it feels familiar or unfamiliar, I don't understand either. It's truly a great joy in life. Not long ago, I was complaining that I was a negative person who only waits for miracles in life, but I still have so many things to be curious about.